Entry 43: Literary Atrocities - My Immortal, Chapter 16
Author: Professor Bartholomew Barrington III, Esq.
I have forged ahead to Chapter 16. If previous chapters were a slow descent into madness, this chapter represents the moment the narrative severs its final, frayed tether to reality and plummets into the abyss.
The author's note reveals a dramatic schism in the creative team:
AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis!
The co-author, "Raven," has apparently stolen a sweater and abandoned her writing duties. The author's response is to publicly declare war upon her former collaborator in the preamble to a Harry Potter fanfiction.
The Concert
Ebony and Draco arrive at the My Chemical Romance concert in Hogsmeade. The author assures us that Gerard Way looked "even sexier than he did in da pictures," before providing a truly horrifying description of Draco's physical reaction to the frontman.
However, the concert is a trap.
We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!
Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters ("Death Dealers") have infiltrated Hogsmeade by disguising themselves as the mid-2000s emo band My Chemical Romance, complete with masks. The logistical and magical implications of this operation are staggering. Did Voldemort rehearse "Helena"? Did Lucius Malfoy have to learn the bassline?
The Escort
Faced with the Dark Lord, Ebony's primary concern is not her impending demise, but rather a romantic dispute with Draco.
“Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily... “We won’t do that again.” Draco promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.” “OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?”
Draco suggests taking a chaperone to future events to prevent them from engaging in inappropriate behavior. Ebony immediately accuses him of "giving into the mainstream" and being a "prep or a Christina" (presumably Christina Aguilera).
To prove his devotion to the gothic lifestyle, Draco once again falls to his knees and serenades her. The conflict is resolved.
The Murder of Willow
The chapter concludes with a casual update from B'loody Mary regarding the fate of Raven's character, Willow.
“BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.” (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!) “Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he’s a necphilak.” “Kawai.” I said.
Because the real-life author had a fight with her friend over a sweater, she writes the friend's character out of the story by having her expelled for skipping math. B'loody Mary then casually confesses to murdering Willow, after which Professor Lupin engaged in necrophilia with the corpse.
Ebony's response to the brutal murder and subsequent defilement of her classmate? "Kawai." (Kawaii: Japanese for cute).
There is no analysis that can adequately parse this. It is a singularity of pure, weaponized derangement.