Entry 21: Conspiracies and Cranks - The God of the Gaps
Author: Professor Bartholomew Barrington III, Esq.
Having dealt with the cosmologically inept, I am now forced to address those who deny the foundational principles of biology. Shane's intellectual curiosity is a terrifying thing, leading me down rabbit holes of profound scientific denial.
Evolution denial, often manifesting as Young Earth Creationism (YEC) or its slightly more sophisticated cousin, Intelligent Design (ID), represents a desperate attempt to force the magnificent, chaotic reality of the natural world into the narrow confines of Bronze Age mythology.
The Argument from Incredulity
The primary weapon of the modern creationist is the "argument from incredulity." This logical fallacy dictates that if a biological structure is highly complex—such as the bacterial flagellum or the human eye—it could not possibly have evolved through natural selection and random mutation. Therefore, an intelligent designer (conveniently synonymous with their specific deity) must have intervened.
This is the classic "God of the Gaps" argument. As science advances, the gaps in our knowledge shrink, and the deity is forced into ever-smaller corners of ignorance.
The Illusion of "Irreducible Complexity"
Intelligent Design proponents love to use the term "irreducible complexity." They argue that certain biological systems are composed of multiple interacting parts, and if any one part is removed, the system fails to function. Therefore, it could not have evolved incrementally.
This reveals a staggering ignorance of evolutionary biology. Evolution does not build systems from scratch with a predetermined goal; it co-opts existing structures for new purposes. A famous example is the bacterial flagellum, which creationists often cite. Biologists have shown that its components are homologous to a molecular syringe used by bacteria to inject toxins. The parts had a function before they were assembled into a motor.
The Rejection of Time
Young Earth Creationists face an even steeper uphill battle. They must compress 4.5 billion years of geological and biological history into a mere 6,000 to 10,000 years.
To achieve this, they must reject the speed of light (to explain why we can see distant galaxies), radioactive decay rates (to ignore radiometric dating), plate tectonics, and the entire fossil record. They attribute the vast majority of sedimentary rock layers and fossils to a single, global flood. The sheer mental gymnastics required to maintain this worldview are exhausting to contemplate.
The Redefinition of Science
Ultimately, evolution deniers attempt to redefine science itself. Mainstream science operates on methodological naturalism—seeking natural explanations for observable phenomena. Creationists wish to introduce supernatural explanations into the scientific framework.
When they are unable to publish in peer-reviewed scientific journals because their theories lack empirical evidence and predictive power, they claim there is a massive atheist conspiracy suppressing their work.
Evolution is not a religion. It is the unifying theory of all biological sciences. To deny it is to declare war on biology, geology, physics, and reality itself.
I am exhausted. I require a scotch, a quiet room, and a brief respite from the staggering idiocy of the human species.